Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
