Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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