You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize