Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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