Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
