Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
