shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
