420 ftw
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
