i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
