dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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