Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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