Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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