The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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