How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
