At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
