this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
