I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
