it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
