i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
