I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
