thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
