I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
