I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
