God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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