its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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