"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
