we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
