yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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