Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
