Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
