At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
