And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
