VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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