Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize