She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
