This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
