I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
