You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize