Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize