dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
