you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
