Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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