wat bout pragnant strippers??
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
