I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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