He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
