Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
FUCK WHALES
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
