dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
