Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Randomize
