just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
whose parrot is this?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
