I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
