so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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