Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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