wanna go halves on a baby?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
