I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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