have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
