i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
