Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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