I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
