We're like a lot better than the average bears
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
