I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize