Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
