NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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