It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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