Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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