Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize