oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize