I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
