It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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