Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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