ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
