I am puke
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
