very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I CAN MOONWALK!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
