dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
