Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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