did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
