If i come over, it means nothing
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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