Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
